This might be a mistake

This might be a mistake

This is gonna be kind of a year in review entry.. Likely the final entry of this year.. Anyway, remember back in August when we got all that crappy windy weather??  That wind that destroyed my dads memorial tree.. Well the tree returned by some miracle.. And I vowed to water it at least once a month..

From the day my mom pointed out that the tree was coming up out there it has been my mission to try to keep it alive and that did mean watering it once  a month.. So every month i have watered it.. October was easy, I was still watering the lawn periodically, November I watered it a week before Thanksgiving, it turned off cold and I thought I'd have to water by watering canteen in December and I did do that.. I'm getting ahead of myself here.. In late October the leaves finally fell and I put a big pile on the tree, as well as have four other "mulch" areas.. I tried to keep these areas wet and in December, about two weeks before Christmas it was 70 degrees here .. Hard to believe now that the month is about over and we won't see 32 degrees until the first part of January. But I kept the leaves pile on the tree wet.. There were three days in that span in early December that we had 60 to 70 degrees and I watered that pile two of the days, one day by watering canteen the other by the hose, yes I chanced it and unrolled the hose.. The initial idea was to leave three watering sprinkler, spot watering sprinklers, in the three places (the pumpkin patch, the ally planter and the tree in front there) keeping them in place for the season (winter) unless it was forecast to get very cold or snow.. We had gotten winter storm watches and warnings through the earlier parts of the late fall there but nothing delivered, so why did I make a strong effort to get the hoses rolled up after the third strike out by the weather service??  Because eventually they are right, and this time was it.. We got SNOW.. About nine inches there abouts and we got buried.. When I shoveled the sidewalk I placed a lot of the snow on the tree out there.. covering the tree and leaves in about a foot of extra snow.. That should keep me from having to water for a while.. Then Christmas day we got more snow..  Three or four more inches but who could tell with the wind.. Clearing the sidewalk I again piled even more snow on the tree.. This might be a mistake, I'm not sure.. But the leaf pile was wet before we got snow.. How wet the leaves were is anyones guess, I stuck my finger in there and it was good and wet on that Friday before we got that snow storm the next Monday/Tuesday.. So I think it was wet, froze as the snow fell, froze good then got the first piling on, and then the second piling on later..

The amount of snow on there now is over three feet as I tossed snow from the driveway as well.. As I said this is an experiment that started in September with seeing the tree reemerge from the trunk.. Hopefully it won't kill the tree..  I've never done this before.. Yes I do put as much snow on the grass as I can.. but that is way different than this tree thing.. The other mulch areas are looking fantastic with snow covering the leaves.. Should make good growing areas again this year, as this is the first growing season that will have the leaves covering that I could deliver, all years previous had what I raked up, this year was the first with the mower with the grass catcher..  These areas were watered the same as with the tree, watering canteen and then the sprinkler, with the sun going down so quickly and I couldn't start watering before noon until the hose was warm enough to use.. You really notice how fast the sun sets when you really only have three hours to water then drain the hose then roll it up.. 

This year started ominously with mom falling on the very first day.. Her knee bruising up from that and it went downhill from there.. I started a campaign to flush twice.. Let's give 2015 a great sendoff..  

A special little video for the year that has been total crapola.. For various reasons.. Most of which was the losing of a niece.. That was tougher than anything..   So please flush twice this Thursday.. Send 2015 on it's merry way.. 

So Christmas came and went.. And this little little event happened.. About a week after Tabitha's funeral mom comes and tells me "you remember that trip we took to Sterling" ( a town we had been wanting to trek to for a month but never really got to it until..) we went towards the very end of September, I was needing a pair of new shoes and so we went down there.. We had stopped at the usual haunts and the last being Wallgreens and we did some Christmas looking, as we were prone to doing, yeah even the end of September.. 

Mom had had  a tiff with Tabitha just prior to us going down there and this shows you what kind of person my mom is, while she was still upset with her she still thought of her when we were there as she saw this stuffed toy, an owl, and thought to get it for her as a Christmas present.. Mom was only  a little upset, but even though she was she still thought about her.. And so the week after her funeral she reminded me of that trip and this owl that she got for her.. 

One of the greatest gifts that mom received for Christmas was a blanket.. I had tried to get her a blanket from Walmart and was all set to get her one when they had sold out of the one I wanted to get her.. Likely this was a good thing.. My brother and his wife got mom a blanket for Christmas and as she pulled it out of the box it was in I looked and didn't think much about it.. She just felt it, and it was nice.. After my little brother and his family left, I went out and shoveled the walk, just in case my older brother and his family would stop later.. Turns out they did shortly after I got done.. I went into the house and grabbed that box with the blanket in it.. Pulled the blanket out and started to unfold it.. Turns out the side that was showing was the back side, the white side, the side that would be touching her, the other side was pictures of the twins.. I saw that and couldn't believe it..  I can be such a girl.. just the emotion of that was just amazing.. So cool and really beyond description.. Which brings me to the final bit here..

I started writing about Tabitha and trying to wrap my head around the entirety of everything that has happened since she passed away.. Even trying to start as far back as her early life (grade school) but every time I tried I stopped and couldn't continue.. From the week after her funeral to a week before Thanksgiving I tried to write and just couldn't.. There was too much conjecture, too much made up and guessing and filling in the blanks with what I can only call educated and uneducated guesses.. Tabitha was very smart, extremely so and that worked for her a little and against her a lot.. She over thinked things to the point as my brother said to the point where she would think it to death.. and not get anything accomplished.. She would use Google to her advantage and would find things about a symptom one of the girls had and then beat it to death.. Until proven wrong, or right, or just exhausting that avenue before going down another.. She died pretty much the way she lived with questions dangling over her.. There was no proven reason that she dies, which is to say her health was bad, she had pancreatitis which is extreme abdominal pain and was on pain killers (very potent) and that was part of the reason of her death.. She medicated herself, and with these pills you can only get away with that for so long and it finally caught up with her.. That fateful Sunday/Monday.. Her vital organs were shutting down, they were in serious shape from being in that kind of pain and taking that kind of medication.. I remember my older brother saying he wouldn't be surprised if she died by her 25th birthday.. She was 29..  

Writing about her from that day back to when the twins were born and then forward beyond her death there were so many open spaces about literally everything that I couldn't write about it.. I couldn't even guess even remotely.. It is sad to say that but we weren't that close to her, and the problem really is that not even her parents could say they were very close.. She kept many secrets. She kept things secret and lied about other things..  Sadly that might be as well a contributor to her demise.. No one is an open book.. No one is fully transparent, no matter what they say everyone has a secret or two or twenty.. 

Well anyway the big events in the year are always the ones we wish never happened.. This year was a horrible year and truth be told this is probably just the start of horrible times.. It can get worse??  Sadly yes it can.. With Tabitha dying it has opened up a whole new can of worms that are just starting to be worked out and sadly could end up where her twins are no longer being taken care of by the people who have been taking care of them from the beginning of their lives.. What is really sad and I have told mom this.. If this guy gets them, we likely will never get to see them in person ever again.. This is not exaggeration, the (baby daddy) (sperm donor) father lives five hours away and the likelihood that he will let my brother and his wife see them very regularly could be very unlikely, he doesn't have to.. And the chances of them being up here are very low.. And the truth is.. i hate to say this.. It might be better if we don't see them again.. Not at least until they are older.. Ten to twelve years old.. Maybe even longer.. It will be tough on all who are involved mostly my brother and his wife..  I think if I were in their shoes what I would do.. The guy (the SD) has no reason to want these girls, no emotional attachment so he really is trying to get money from the government.. Quite the wrong reason to want kids because these girls are special needs kids, and every penny that Tabitha got from the government was spent on these girls care.. And then some as my brother and his wife would spend money of theirs on them as well..   Will this guy care for them the same way they are supposed to??  Highly unlikely.. I hate to think of the outcome on that reasoning.. Really not very good if you ask me but then.. Who knows.. He might be a good guy, responsible ..  Not the villainest douche that we were lead to think of him..    Naw he's a P.O.S. very little doubt.. But you never know.. 

Badge Henry

(P.S. I'm really to the point right now.. today being the 4th of January, that I want the snow to fuck off.. not melt  all together, just not be so much out there.. I worry about the tree in the front.. I piled it on there and am a little nervous that it will not be good for it.. I've never piled the snow on to anything like a tree before.. Had the tree developed enough to stick up out of there I wouldn't feel so bad.. I really piled it on the little guy, hope it survives..) 

(P.P.S. here it is the 25th of January.. A month plus having the snow covering the tree out there, although it has started to melt a little. I figure it might be March before the snow is completely gone from that tree.. It had been 50 degrees on Saturday, and that melted the snow down to where we had about 50% of the entire yard covered.. There on the tree is under three feet covered.. It was really covered, three plus feet on it back when this entry was written.. And I didn't pack it, I just tossed the snow on there.. Hopefully this doesn't ruin the tree completely.. I was talking to mom about a replacement for that tree before she saw it was coming back.. Then last week I started talking about a memorial tree for Tabitha.. What should that be??  The tree that we got for dads memorial was  a red maple, kinda like the one at the dialysis  center there in Fort Collins, I think dad was impressed with it like I was..  What would be great for Tab.. Well.. Sadly the tree mom got for her when she was born is quite healthy, and grown quite tall in the back, the pine tree closest to the ally.. And I say sad because while most trees can out live the person they were planted for, this tree is still thirty or more years away from being very tall at all.  It might be half as tall as it will ever get.. She never had much of a chance.. The memorial tree should be ..  interesting.. Something really cool.. Musical.. free spirit.. )

all us videos are the same

The project was done.. All the music was chosen and all that was left was to put the video together.. Video one would be with Christmas Time is Here by the late great Vince Guraldi Trio..  But which version??  I knew which version I wanted and decided to load all the different music I thought might be worth trying.. Then when all the pictures were done I picked the Patti Austin vocals version from the Happy Anniversary Charlie Brown album.. That is just ... Brings out the emotion for me and felt good with the video here..  Now in the lower setting for the blog here all the effects I set for the videos are in full force, those that show are really what I am after.. Some didn't show and they are disappointing but still worth having..

Video two... There was only supposed to be the one video but as I was completing the first video a song popped into my head and I decided to try to use it although not  a christmas song.. Perpetuum Mobile by the Penguin Cafe Orchestra.. And although the video is fairly close to the same as the first video there are a few differences, as these were done a day apart from each other..

The third video..  simply entitled everything else.. And this has three Guraldi songs... The first video and for that matter the entire project was going to be the memorial video with a few things changed and the music being way different.. But I thought I rather wanted this to be all the kids, the twins and the boys.. Then I changed my mind as pictures were being doctored.. The first two videos contained everything I had done.. Then I tried a few more and added them to the project done file.. Some 8+ pictures were completed so for the third video I had a lot to use.. And put them all together, including several ideas that weren't used in the first two videos.. So video three is sort of the in depth video or "box set" type of thing.. Not something that I like to do normally but I thought why not.. So that is what video three is.. A few ideas that weren't completed and a few that didn't hit with me for the other videos..

Badge Henry

(P.S. Don't make the videos large, the effect is perfect in small screen... )

Are you sure you want to say that??

We got a new hospital recently... And thankfully we did i mean holy shit we needed one what with the one we had falling apart...   Check it out, they are so proud..

Here is the original picture as it appears in the paper showing the proud establishment.. I've been in there, it is quite the building.. But...  check out how some people see it..

Ominous clouds in this version of the picture of the hospital.. The signs are clear, I mean look at those, two of them, with one saying enter at your own risk, talk about enter with you own peril..  Is there an ambulance bay???

Who was their interior decorator??  Benihauna??  But seriously, this would be a really cool biker bar.. Skull and crossbones ... Name your poison..

Speaking of poison, name it.. This is on the wall, the prices of the drinks you want, the imagination YOU CRAVE...  Where's the dog.. Hair of the dog to be exact.. Nazareth hair of the dog playing in the background..

The boardroom, where life and death decisions are made and how much was in the bottom of that tequila bottle.. The worm has turned.. The proud display of the company emblem.. let's get ROCKED..

Are you hungry??  Are we cannibals??  Was that Mike we just ate.. Find out here...

They pull out toenails don't they.. Well.. Sure as why not.. The latest in toenail pulling technology, we do it all here says the CEO of Hopspital George by George ...  We can do it all  and we even use our thumbs now..

The wading room where that buzzing sound you hear is the latest in sound manipulation to keep you from hearing the screams that are withing farting distance of the waiting room.. Do be proud because if that system ever fails they have to use the goof gas to make you pass out..

So there it is, the new hospital known by it's full name of Sidney regional gaff and fuck hostpital.. "Where we will continue to give you the care you are used to".. Well thank god.. Hate to see them go out of their way to bump up to a two star hospital.. Stay loose, stay in that one star laughing stock place.. "Having surgery done there??  I heard they read you your last rites BEFORE you  go in.. unlike before when they would wait until you "accidentally" died"... 

Badge Henry..


(P.S.  I'm only joking..  Sort of.. ) (P.P.S.  Seriously they had a tour back in October, we went on a windy as shit day.. They get us to the birthing area and they say here are jacuzzi in here and I walk around the open door to see... Two of the nicest toilets I have ever seen.. And I say quite loud enough to be heard by all "We have one of those.. But we call it a toilet..."   Much laughing and jocularity ensues and we went to the bar and got drunk.. Really did that really happen??  NO.. )

The Christmas blues

There is no other time like the holiday time.. Around Thanks giving is when I start to feel the despair that is what the next two holidays provide.. And.. Back when my dad passed away I remember going to the different stores and just being numb and knowing he wouldn't be there that year.. or any other for that matter.. And every year that the last week of October starts and thinking about those last few days were hard.. And still are.. This year we had another loss and it was so strange that I felt almost the same identical feelings as that final week between finding out she had died and then the funeral.. The parallels of the two..  And the feelings of the holidays we have been through and the two hard ones to come.. Christmas was never the same after dad passed away, and now again we all have to endure again as we go through it all again..


I started to watch Holiday movies and stuff like that.. I won't put the trailers up again but just figure it is the same as last year.. Bad Santa, Christmas with the Kranks, A very Murray Christmas and of course Love Actually and with that one, yes I know it is sappy and really nobody else likes it but it is special to me because as I said before it was one of the last if not the very last movies my dad ever rented on disc.. So with every scene that sparks emotion to anyone else sparks that emotion ten fold for me.. Dad if you are watching.. That one is for you, every year...  You will always be missed...


Badge Henry..

done then..

The videos are done.. Videos plural meaning more than one.. Truth is I couldn't just do one.. And when I got to the second I got ideas for a few more picture type of ideas..

Initially the idea was to use the memorial pictures almost exclusively.. Then I decided this should be Christmas and therefor make a christmas video.. Also I was going to do all the kids pictures but again the twins were the majority of the pictures used.. Here is Linus with the tree Charlie Brown picked.. 

And here is Ryan or more to the point Ryan's head ... 

Emy lou whoo with a bulb that the grinch almost left behind.. 

And here is with Ely Whoo... Inscribed on the bulb.. Here grinch clause.. 

The videos were uploaded today and just as quick as they got uploaded I got a email telling me about copyright infringement... Gotcha, I never heard of that.. At least thirty videos from before but that's alright.. 

These videos will be view able at the at the same site that Tabitha's memorial video is but will only be viewed there from the 23 through the 28th...   sorry I fear there will be repercussions from this and don't want to take a chance.. 

Badge Henry 

Busy doing nothing everyday

Well I have been sort of busy.. Cleaning out the bootlegs last week saw me try to figure out which concerts to keep and which not to.. Then I hit the Saga bootlegs and that screwed up my disc.. So then it was what to do about it.. There were so many bootlegs by Saga that it was too much for a cd.. So what then.. Well I decided to do a dvd and that meant adding to the collection which saw me add every album I had, go online and get the last two studio albums I didn't have and also the other three live albums I didn't have..  Getting everything set to go and it took until about seven last night after working on it from Saturday.. All 21 studio albums, seven live official releases, some ten or twelve bootleg shows and a few cool odds and ends and this set was simply dubbed EVERYTHING.. Which is close to what it was.. a few tracks edited and it all fit.. So after that I started looking for Christmas pictures..  Why??

The next video project reared it's head in the most strangest of ways.. I started looking for christmas pictures and clip art and stuff.. Why??  I was well into getting all these pictures before I figured out what was going on.. This video was going to be with all the younger generation, my nieces and nephews but when all was said and done it has become a sort of memorial video that will be more for the holiday than anything else.. And unlike the actual memorial video, this is a true project.. The pictures that were picked out for the memorial video I didn't touch... much.. i mean I did touch them up  a little mostly lightening them up where they seemed like they needed it.. In this project the pictures are really being doctored.. They will still be recognizable but most of them are really changed to fit what I want to do with them.. The song will be Christmas time is here by Vince Guraldi... At least that much is certain.. And how it will all look?? Good question.. This will be completed hopefully by next Wednesday.. Just in time for Christmas..  And will be uploaded to.. Well there is the hitch.. I'm not sure where to put it.. It will either go to this blog.. Phudge Nuts, or.. Another blog which has been neglected for the past five years.. Might be time to start it right up.  What a way to do it too.. 


Badge Henry

A new idea

Yeah, this one popped into my noggin early this morning and it is very simple. The years we are currently in is .. has been a shitty year.. From the start we should have known it was going to suck .. Mom started by falling on New Years day and fell several more times, has had nothing but shit troubles with all sorts of minor health issues from colds to viral infections to... Well you name it.. Then as everything seemed to be balancing out we have a loss in October..  The greatest loss you can have and so with that in mind I want to start a campaign and it really is quite simple and only costs a few pennies.. if you could, take the time on the 31st of December at about nine in the evening to just flush your toilet twice.. the reason is quite simple, 2015 has been a turdtastic year and it would just be a mental thing more than anything else.. FLUSH TWICE... Help us flush this shit filled year down the bowels of the sewer system..

Ah.. remember that one from school...

What did I watch this weekend??  Actually not very much but there was one movie that I feel like everyone should watch.. I'll gush about it here in  a minute, first the fairly disappointing movies..

The Rediculous Six.. This was Adma Sandlers attempt at making a sort of Blazing Saddles movie.. Sadly he missed the mark by a long ways.. But it's an ok movie just not Blazing Saddles by any stretch..

 Baron Manfred von Richthofen (The Red Barron) was quite the force back in World War one.. The story is quite good. The part where he wanted his airplane painted different from all the other planes.. He wanted it red.. Blood red, he wanted people to fear him.. And the early stages of the fighting it was more viewed as a sport rather than deadly war combat.. Shooting the planes down but then finding their pilots and making sure they were ok.. That was just about the oddest part and wouldn't surprise me if that was in fact the way it was..

Tiger House was more suspense than thriller.. This one the girl is the hero.. Not initially  the tough, that changed when she was the one clever enough to hide.. Really a love story when you think about it.. 

Slingshot.. The first line in this is repeated at the very end of the credits sequence.. Listen.. It is very important..   This movie is about Dean Kamen, the inventor of the segway, that odd contraption that lets you get around at walking speed without having to walk.. Neat contraption but it never completely took off..  Not to worry, he is an inventor and that is what this movie shows.. It was he who was instrumental in fully developing the parateniel dialysis which is basically injecting a solution of dialysate into your abdomen and it takes the place of kidney function when your kidneys are in failure mode.. He developed clean water system and other things but it was the clean water filtering system that has been his primary work, trying to get these things into test in real day operation and trying to distribute them worldwide..  Clean water is the key to the world getting along.. The haves and have nots of the world will get along much better if they don't have to worry about where a clean glass of water will come from...  This movie is a must watch by everyone who take clean water for granted.. That means you.. and everyone who reads this.. Watch the movie... SLINGSHOT..  You will be glad you did..



Badge Henry

Here is where it gets weird

It was classic movies weekend at the home box office watching movies.. First part 2

Back to the Future part II (2)  and it brings up a lot more questions.. Truth be told they should have filmed the first with the idea of there going to be a sequel, the dance scenes in the gym could have contained Marty in the trench coat thing there.. But aside from that.. It is a good movie and a nice sequel.. 

Coyote Ugly was Friday nights movie.. This of course I had seen it.. It's like Spring break meets animal house.. Well not really.. it's a love story.. Aren't they all??

Top of the classic heap is... 2001: A Space Odyssey and this movie I started Thursday and finished it Saturday night.. Through the entire movie and watching it, it really only gets going after the intermission (yes there is an intermission built in)...  As I watched it this time I try to immagine the Pink Floyd score because in case you didn't know they were being considered as the band to score this movie.. Try to thing that their albums Atom Heart Mother as well as parts of the album More and Ummagumma (the experimental parts) as well as Astronomy Domine were parts thought that would be perfect as well as Zabriske Point..  The thinking was Atom Heat Mother Suite would have been extended, think the live version which was almost twice as long as the studio version.. Would have worked quite well..  Alas the reason they didn't do the soundtrack??  They  couldn't get along with Kubrick..

Badge Henry

Numb

I have said I have no idea how to fix this and nothing has changed with the dozen or more shootings that have taken place since the last time I wrote about this.. The truth is the day is coming very quickly when everyone will be able to say my friend/family member was in a mass shooting.. as a victim and like I said that day is coming very quickly.. The epidemic that is gun violence is beyond my comprehension. It's almost like if there wasn't a dozen we don't pay attention.. well how many will get he attention of those in Washington to do something??   Something, ANYTHING.. Talk about, start to try to do something.. Or at best just pretend you fucking care..    That will never happen as long as the gun lobby has the NRA lobbying for their guns..

Nowhere does it state let any idiot have a gun... Apparently IT DOES.. There should not only be background checks but getting a gun should be sacred, and should be treated like a great thing that happens in your life.. limit the number of guns someone can buy in their lifetime..  Make buying a gun take an effort to do, if it is important to get a gun, make them go through radical background checks and go through gun training and safety that can take up to 18 months to complete and even then there should be a weapons review board somewhere.. How to go about this??  I don't know, but something has to change and very soon.. I don't want to eventually be writing about someone I know or am related to was killed in one of these shootings.. 

Badge Henry

The great white wide open

A little sadness today as I'm uploading material that I got in the final week of September and the days before that fateful day in October.. The final week of May, all of June and the first little bit of July will have that stuff.. Really no difference and it only reflects to me what it was or when it was.. I remember fairly vividly because of a few of them were gotten the tenth of October.. I usually clean out the pictures (memes) and set them on the flashdrive where they are placed in order of alpha-numeric order, but that isn't the way that Faststone sets them, they are placed in order of receiving so.. That means the first weeks of  October has been being used in the past few days and that stretches over a month (I was very busy up until that week, and then everything just stopped for a solid week.. )  And then things gradually picked back up again..

A hint of not ending the blog has crept in.. That's right, I'm thinking about continuing on with Phudge Nuts on parade.. The blog that means nothing..  Why was I going to end it??  I don't know, why was I doing it in the first place... But you know things that make no sense sometimes make the most sense.. In a word why not.. I guess that's two... Whynot.. Why not do it, continue until....  infinum... We'll see...


Phudge Nuts