I'm not a big fan of December as a whole, Christmas used to mean something other than what it did, counting the number of presents you got compared to your siblings and was it equal or more.. Yada yada yada.. Now we hit the new year.. I never thought of January first as meaning much when I was younger.. Then one year I was at a skating party at the creek and, it was my junior year and .. I didn't do much skating that year because I found a bottle spirits as it were and was feeling great... I was heading home to get a few tapes to crank in this guys car stereo and suddenly it occurred to me, this was my last year of care free fun.. Some reason the literal number of days until I graduated popped into my mind.. And from that day through graduation I thought of that night, freezing my ass off going to the house to get a tape when I should have stayed there, because when I got back the party was wrapping up.. What a waste of time.. Everyone had left, the guy with the car stereo was still there but by then so was my buzz gone as well.. Happy New fizzle...
It seems like everything that would happen in the new year happened right there and then.. From getting ice skates for Christmas that year, to jamming my fingers in the ice (from around that time) and everything.. When we went to get my nephew one time recently I saw the streets in town there and remarked this would be perfect skating streets conditions, packed snow turns to perfect skating conditions.. I don't know where I came up with the idea to skate the streets but back when I was in high school I thought why not try to skate the streets.. Back when it used to snow and be cold we could ice skate all over town.. Telling my nephew that and he just didn't believe me.. I wish he could ice skate but that would mean leaving his precious computer youtube videos for a few minutes.. I swear the day is going t come where his classmates ask him to go riding bikes and he won't be able to because he never learned how.. "Dude, you're twelve years old and you never learned to ride a bicycle??" Well he has more important things to do, plus he can watch kids learning how to ride on youtube, it's the same thing.. He watches minecraft videos and has said "how am I supposed to get good at the game if I don't watch these videos??" um, PLAY IT.. he plays a little but hates to lose.. You learn by losing, it's how you learn to play better is by hands on, and you lose A LOT.. I played video games when I was little (younger) and was frustrated but learned how to play.. The reason I quit playing was I got tired of chasing the new best greatest most best game................ IN THE WORLD.. at least for this year, then next year it's that playstation 27 the be all to end all super graphics better than real people... That and I got tired of sucking.. Yes I was only ok at video games.. The old video games like pac man or sonic the hedge rat.. My brother had Genesis by Sega and I had Game Gear, by Sega and mine was a handheld.. Still is in a shoe box there somewhere.. I thought about breaking it out over Christmas break but the nephew likes to dance when he plays video games, when he does play video games..
By this past Christmas I was hoping we could try to play a board game with him.. By the time I was in second grade I was playing monopoly, and sorry and some other fun games.. I didn't win them all, in fact I probably lost more than I won, but when I did win it felt special.. I have a computer version of Scrabble and play that regularly and one time my nephew wanted to try it.. So he did, on his grandmas old computer.. He won, and won again.. and again.. He's really good.. Well no, he's not.. There is a hint button he would click when playing to help him find a word every now and then. Actually every turn was hit the hint button.. He would win by four hundred points fairly regularly.. I had troubles getting over three hundred for the game and have won by under fifty almost ever time I would win.. I told him, little dude (his actual name) play the easy mode and use the hint button only when you get stuck.. He stopped playing the game.. playing it in board game fashion.. That's likely not going to happen until he graduates from high school.. if even then..
I was in a bad situation yesterday, the second of January.. I felt dread beyond belief yesterday.. I kept thinking of my niece.. I simply couldn't get her out of my head.. I thought back to October and mom crying herself to sleep in the days following her death.. seems like that was how she was from that fateful Tuesday through pretty much the entire month of October.. Extremely sad, and it was and still can be.. I coped with the videos I was creating.. But there were so many songs that I had listened to that reminded me of her, a lot of songs I would see her when I listened to them when she was alive really bring me to near tears now.. it's just not fair...
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