Ernie
put together a compact disc (CD) of some songs he had written and had
it available at the record store I went to regularly.. I looked at it
but never bought a copy.. I had heard some of the songs but they all had
the same sound.. He still was using that four track demo recorder,
sounded like to me.. By the late nineties I got the Who Live at Leeds
rerelease on cd and while listening to that extended jam I was visioning
us jamming like the good old days.. And really missed being in the
band..
There was a question by me about the new technology and the internet about just what we might have been able to accomplish had we had this.. Facebook, YouTube and other social media made me wonder what we could have done, what we might have been able to do with that.. Knowing Justin Bieber got discovered on YouTube makes me wonder BUT.. In this day of here today gone tonight tastes in music we might have had a minute to be famous.. Followed by months of trying everything to get that little taste again..
I left the band more or less on good terms although with more questions than answers.. Truthfully I had more questions than answers but answered them in my way.. Which is to say imagining what might be.. For instance when Darren left was he booted out or did he quit?? I heard only small things, bits of information and it felt like a who do you believe situation.. I think he was having marriage problems brought on by the band.. His wife was originally quite the prude although The reason seemed to be she wanted to have everything in her marriage be on the up and up.. I think she was from Sidney although I could be wrong,, Darren was from Kansas and was away visiting his family when things started to break down in the band.. We practiced without him and had a gig or two lined up.. It was around Easter time and Darren went home not only to visit but to make plans to go home.. If his marriage was falling apart it might have been because he was a partier (drugs involved) and she wasn't.. She did however fall off the straight and narrow and seemed to go that way.. When Darren left under the cloud of suspicion that there was I thought about leaving then and took close to a month to rethink any hasty departure.. I decided to stay, Dale was the new keyboard player, and seemed adequate to the task at hand.. He also had an amazing resemblance to Darren in the looks department..
Dale moved to Denver, practices were now on the weekend exclusively for the next little bit.. Then Rob was our sound man but soon started playing keyboards. The gig in Padroni would be Dales last and Robs first, the first time we had two keyboard players on stage at the same time..
The final paying gig in October of 88 spelled the beginning of the end although I didn't see it. I did feel that the band had changed sometime that year.. They wanted a new picture for the posters but by the time they did that I had a prior commitment although I could have gotten out of it.. The new photo session coincided with the second recording session for the song "Where Did I Go Wrong" That session, as I already wrote' was an utter disaster, waste of time and money.. You don't drink or let any substances in the studio.. I left early before everything unfolded and was glad I did.. But I could see things unraveling.. I tried to ignore it but the band was quickly coming to an end.. That New Years Eve they called to do a practice and it pissed me off.. Mostly I couldn't think of a better excuse to not go.. I didn't even talk to them about "so what are we going to do? or "Whats everyone been up to?" I figured as much that while the excuse of the PA head being in the repair shop that there was no desire to get together..
While there was still some fan adulation I saw the smaller crowds at the last teen dance we did and figured we were on the way out.. Taking that much time off means people aren't seeing us play, aren't hearing our songs on the radio because we aren't out playing them.. We had songs on the radio in three places, Sterling, Sidney and Scottsbluff although we had never played there.. So my question would be what happened from October until March just before we got together for that (my final gig)? My answer is, Ernie got the four track demo recorder tape deck, and then the computerized drumset.. He then rerecorded all the songs and some of the new songs we had just worked on before the final gig there in Kimball.. He also recorded a couple of new tracks that I didn't care for.. Again the reason was simple, I didn't play on them and if I had the drum part would have flowed smoothly rather than exactly..
In 88 or some point Ernie worked on a couple of songs for his little sister and she sang and it was just kind of a lark.. Then he asked them to play it on the radio.. Then during a break at one of our shows she sang it.. Singing to a backing tape.. I went to a lower setting of the building we were playing in and didn't watch her sing.. By this time I didn't care that this happened, it was their equipment, why should I care..
After I left and for the next few years I did miss being in the band, and there were times I wished we were back together but .. There were times that it was beyond my comprehension as to how the band ever came together or worked as much as we did.. Everyone in the band wanted it to work until the October gigs.. Then I didn't hear from them about playing steady gigs.
Then in 2001 I tore my left arm up to the point where playing the drums was questionable.. I did try to play my little brothers drums for a short ten minute playing.. My arms were stronger than ever but weren't playing the drums strong.. I had troubles playing his drums and holding onto the sticks.. I had never had troubles playing the drums before.. A few years ago he bought a drumset for his son and I sat down and played it a little.. I'm not sure what the little guy thought about that, someone else knows how to play the drums? My nieces have never seen me play the drums.. The oldest was three when I left the band..
I did wish the band could get together and try to play a little.. Maybe we could give it a shot but then.. November 2, 2013 came.. Ernie was killed by his ex son in law.. Any chance of any kind of reunion was dashed there and then and really and truly there was a lot of doubt that we would ever get together again anyway.. Truth is I was so seriously disappointed when I heard of this happening.. I didn't know him that well, even when I was in the band.. He was a bit of an enigma to me.. I was more disappointed in myself for not trying to reconnect with him.. There were any number of opportunities to reconnect but it just never felt right.. When I got on the internet when MySpace was huge he had a page and I got some pictures from it that I had never seen before.. I didn't connect there or Facebook or YouTube.. I wish I had.. I do wish we could have gotten it together about '95 or so.. But, what happened with me is I was no longer interested in the band, or even being in a band.. I figured I basically got what I wanted from the band, I played some gigs and was fairly happy with the situation.. Truth is I lost touch with everyone that I was in that line of work..
In the early 2000's my little brother was on the local radio and he invited me to guest on a show he did on Wednesday nights and I did.. I never thought to play any music from the band.. Never thought twice.. I don't know why, it just never occurred to me to do that..
Through writing this little story I thought of the good times and the bad and the rough. We were a rock band that played a little regularly.. I always wanted to play more until '88 when we played the October gigs I was tired of the stage freight I had and couldn't shake.. When we played three weekends in a row back in the early days I got used to that and could have gotten used to playing like that.. All together we might have played around fifty gigs total... Over a nearly five year period that isn't very good..
I had a dream during the writing of this that I was dreaming that we were together and it was those days getting ready for a gig.. It was a happy dream, and then saddened by the thinking that Ernie was leaving the band, we are going to break up.. This is the end of the band.. Fading into oblivion..
This was the original demo tape cover (I think) (l-r) Ernie, Darren, Joe and me..
One
of the last picture sessions that I went to.. At a farmers pasture west
of town we drove out and spent a couple hours one Saturday afternoon in
December.. Or May more than likely..
I think this was my last gig with the band there in Kimball..
I
The demo cover.. The one with Rob on it.. Sadly every song on this demo
were written with me and Darren in the band and yet he wasn't given a
credit and neither was I.. The only reason I wanted a credit was so it was a band effort writing these songs.. I was there for every one of these, they were written during the tuning of the guitars at the start of practices..
Me
being blurry.. So easy it is to be blurry.. The drums were taped for
that stripper look that they were going for ....I guess..
This
was with Deneane for whatever the reason.. That hat was my older
brothers.. I woulda loved to wear that at gigs too but was really happy
to get to wear it in the promotional posters..
Darren,
Ernie, the drummer, Joelle and Joe.. The roto toms there, shows I think I
got them first before the rest of the kit, that second kit mentioned in
the story.. The original blue crystal.. I would take that stripped
tape off shortly before going to the electric drum set that Ernie
bought.. Doesn't that sound better??
The proof, one of the first pics of the core of the band..
The one with us.. Destiny with me, Ernie, Joe and Rob left to right..
Ricky J between Ernie and Joe, one of the only pictures I could find with Rick in it..
The original RIZZEN logo... Someone had a little talent in the graphics department.. Joseph..
Joe drew some of the graphics of the band.. Ok he drew all of these.. one of the times we played at RD's..
From the proof to the poster.. ..Ernie's name spelled wrong.. This is what happens when you over think it..
Where Did I Go Wrong... . Hearing the song brought back those memories from that time.. A lot of emotions I had ignored all these years, I think I don't listen to the disc I made because of that reason.. I do miss those days, the fun and excitement of playing live.. This version was from the demo tape that was recorded at the practice site up under the old water tower..
Do I remember the writing of this song?? A little.. It came about during a practice session, we never had a writing session to just write songs, that likely would have produced shear crap.. Most of the time we got into a song writing mode after the tuning of the guitars and everything.. Ernie would jam a little and I would join in and then Joe.. Darren was in the band at the time this was written as well as the recording session.. It more than likely took an hour, maybe less to write the music, Ernie wrote lyrics while writing the song then refined afterwards. More often than not we wrote with a gig looming within a week or so.. I kinda hated that but it also gave us a new song but also meant we spent more time rehearsing that one song and neglecting the rest of the list..
The video here I put together last year (2012) with some of the pictures that I
had, some were mine (the old posters and a few other things) and some
were from trolling MySpace sites when they were the Facebook of then
(seven or some odd lot years time back).. I uploaded it to my YouTube
site and left it called Track 7 because that was where it appeared on
the disc of the demo tape.. It is of course titled Breakdown and was one of three
songs done in the studio.
There was a question by me about the new technology and the internet about just what we might have been able to accomplish had we had this.. Facebook, YouTube and other social media made me wonder what we could have done, what we might have been able to do with that.. Knowing Justin Bieber got discovered on YouTube makes me wonder BUT.. In this day of here today gone tonight tastes in music we might have had a minute to be famous.. Followed by months of trying everything to get that little taste again..
I left the band more or less on good terms although with more questions than answers.. Truthfully I had more questions than answers but answered them in my way.. Which is to say imagining what might be.. For instance when Darren left was he booted out or did he quit?? I heard only small things, bits of information and it felt like a who do you believe situation.. I think he was having marriage problems brought on by the band.. His wife was originally quite the prude although The reason seemed to be she wanted to have everything in her marriage be on the up and up.. I think she was from Sidney although I could be wrong,, Darren was from Kansas and was away visiting his family when things started to break down in the band.. We practiced without him and had a gig or two lined up.. It was around Easter time and Darren went home not only to visit but to make plans to go home.. If his marriage was falling apart it might have been because he was a partier (drugs involved) and she wasn't.. She did however fall off the straight and narrow and seemed to go that way.. When Darren left under the cloud of suspicion that there was I thought about leaving then and took close to a month to rethink any hasty departure.. I decided to stay, Dale was the new keyboard player, and seemed adequate to the task at hand.. He also had an amazing resemblance to Darren in the looks department..
Dale moved to Denver, practices were now on the weekend exclusively for the next little bit.. Then Rob was our sound man but soon started playing keyboards. The gig in Padroni would be Dales last and Robs first, the first time we had two keyboard players on stage at the same time..
The final paying gig in October of 88 spelled the beginning of the end although I didn't see it. I did feel that the band had changed sometime that year.. They wanted a new picture for the posters but by the time they did that I had a prior commitment although I could have gotten out of it.. The new photo session coincided with the second recording session for the song "Where Did I Go Wrong" That session, as I already wrote' was an utter disaster, waste of time and money.. You don't drink or let any substances in the studio.. I left early before everything unfolded and was glad I did.. But I could see things unraveling.. I tried to ignore it but the band was quickly coming to an end.. That New Years Eve they called to do a practice and it pissed me off.. Mostly I couldn't think of a better excuse to not go.. I didn't even talk to them about "so what are we going to do? or "Whats everyone been up to?" I figured as much that while the excuse of the PA head being in the repair shop that there was no desire to get together..
While there was still some fan adulation I saw the smaller crowds at the last teen dance we did and figured we were on the way out.. Taking that much time off means people aren't seeing us play, aren't hearing our songs on the radio because we aren't out playing them.. We had songs on the radio in three places, Sterling, Sidney and Scottsbluff although we had never played there.. So my question would be what happened from October until March just before we got together for that (my final gig)? My answer is, Ernie got the four track demo recorder tape deck, and then the computerized drumset.. He then rerecorded all the songs and some of the new songs we had just worked on before the final gig there in Kimball.. He also recorded a couple of new tracks that I didn't care for.. Again the reason was simple, I didn't play on them and if I had the drum part would have flowed smoothly rather than exactly..
In 88 or some point Ernie worked on a couple of songs for his little sister and she sang and it was just kind of a lark.. Then he asked them to play it on the radio.. Then during a break at one of our shows she sang it.. Singing to a backing tape.. I went to a lower setting of the building we were playing in and didn't watch her sing.. By this time I didn't care that this happened, it was their equipment, why should I care..
After I left and for the next few years I did miss being in the band, and there were times I wished we were back together but .. There were times that it was beyond my comprehension as to how the band ever came together or worked as much as we did.. Everyone in the band wanted it to work until the October gigs.. Then I didn't hear from them about playing steady gigs.
Then in 2001 I tore my left arm up to the point where playing the drums was questionable.. I did try to play my little brothers drums for a short ten minute playing.. My arms were stronger than ever but weren't playing the drums strong.. I had troubles playing his drums and holding onto the sticks.. I had never had troubles playing the drums before.. A few years ago he bought a drumset for his son and I sat down and played it a little.. I'm not sure what the little guy thought about that, someone else knows how to play the drums? My nieces have never seen me play the drums.. The oldest was three when I left the band..
I did wish the band could get together and try to play a little.. Maybe we could give it a shot but then.. November 2, 2013 came.. Ernie was killed by his ex son in law.. Any chance of any kind of reunion was dashed there and then and really and truly there was a lot of doubt that we would ever get together again anyway.. Truth is I was so seriously disappointed when I heard of this happening.. I didn't know him that well, even when I was in the band.. He was a bit of an enigma to me.. I was more disappointed in myself for not trying to reconnect with him.. There were any number of opportunities to reconnect but it just never felt right.. When I got on the internet when MySpace was huge he had a page and I got some pictures from it that I had never seen before.. I didn't connect there or Facebook or YouTube.. I wish I had.. I do wish we could have gotten it together about '95 or so.. But, what happened with me is I was no longer interested in the band, or even being in a band.. I figured I basically got what I wanted from the band, I played some gigs and was fairly happy with the situation.. Truth is I lost touch with everyone that I was in that line of work..
In the early 2000's my little brother was on the local radio and he invited me to guest on a show he did on Wednesday nights and I did.. I never thought to play any music from the band.. Never thought twice.. I don't know why, it just never occurred to me to do that..
Through writing this little story I thought of the good times and the bad and the rough. We were a rock band that played a little regularly.. I always wanted to play more until '88 when we played the October gigs I was tired of the stage freight I had and couldn't shake.. When we played three weekends in a row back in the early days I got used to that and could have gotten used to playing like that.. All together we might have played around fifty gigs total... Over a nearly five year period that isn't very good..
I had a dream during the writing of this that I was dreaming that we were together and it was those days getting ready for a gig.. It was a happy dream, and then saddened by the thinking that Ernie was leaving the band, we are going to break up.. This is the end of the band.. Fading into oblivion..
I
der Schlagzeuger,
el baterista
Rob Sandoval keyboards..
One
of the sets from a middle of the Destiny era gigs.. Not sure where or
when.. In the air tonight by Phil Collins is the most boring song to
play live as is Dancing in the dark by Bruuuce.. Sorry Bruce
(Springsteen) that song might be a really cool song but it just about
blows to play live..
el baterista
le batteur
All of the above
Ernie Ward, Guitar, keyboard vocals
Joe Ward Bass guitar vocals
From the proof to the poster.. ..Ernie's name spelled wrong.. This is what happens when you over think it..
Do I remember the writing of this song?? A little.. It came about during a practice session, we never had a writing session to just write songs, that likely would have produced shear crap.. Most of the time we got into a song writing mode after the tuning of the guitars and everything.. Ernie would jam a little and I would join in and then Joe.. Darren was in the band at the time this was written as well as the recording session.. It more than likely took an hour, maybe less to write the music, Ernie wrote lyrics while writing the song then refined afterwards. More often than not we wrote with a gig looming within a week or so.. I kinda hated that but it also gave us a new song but also meant we spent more time rehearsing that one song and neglecting the rest of the list..
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