By 1988 the band was coming down from a popularity high, and it seems
like we were becoming last weeks favorite flavor and becoming stale,
and when that happens you start to scratch and claw to return to the
past glory.. The buttons were no longer important to anyone, the demo
tape (album if you will) was no longer selling and was dropped in price
or given away as a promotional item.. Did the people want something
new?? a new tape?? New music?? New direction?? It was anyone's guess..
In August we began working on songs for a gig booked the first weekend
of October.. They didn't realize it at the time but that was Oktoberfest
weekend and has been since it's inception.. Sometime after Labor Day
they figured out their mistake and tried to get out of the gig, BUT..
After the debacle at the other bar in Kimball Ernie insisted on legal
binding contracts from that point forward and that meant we had to play
this gig.. It was a true test of their ability to be professional and my
feeling was that had they begged out of that gig it might have been the
end for us because we didn't play that regularly anyway and I was just
on the very verge of leaving the band. The practice sessions were way
too many and the gigs just weren't enough.. I wasn't living off what we
made, none of us were and I didn't think we would.. I didn't have an end
reason, a reason to leave wasn't in my mind.. The old three strikes and
your out were hit, and so was the next two or three batters.. But I
wanted to stay in the band at pretty much any cost.. We played that
Kimball gig and the only memory I really have was I beat my leg to a
bloody pulp... Well not literally but close.. The snare drum was set at a
height where my left hand would just hit my thigh.. Just hit it, not
hard.. But over the four hour show we played around three and a half
hours which is by far more than any other band did.. This was our
reputation, we played long.. LONG sets.. by this time we were playing
some thirty plus song sets.. I loved it... I'd rather play than have to
mingle with the people during breaks.. After the Saturday gig we packed
up and went home, unloaded the gear and I went home.. From that night
until the hastily thrown together practice in December we wouldn't get
it together until early April..
The end is near: Little did I know they would agree to my wanting to play a freebie gig for my little brothers graduation.. I thought it was just deserving for playing a couple gigs for their friends going into the service.. Hey one of them was Chris.. The other was his brother who joined the service first and then dared Chris to join, it'll be a hoot.. So they agreed to play it and all was going to be fine and dandy.. Well not quite.. The practice sessions were not the best.. By this time the band was done as far as having any true fans. Ernie was recording at his house with a four track demo recorder but he was doing finished recordings.. And in fact had what he was calling a new finished tape for fan consumption.. Only trouble was we weren't playing to have anyone hear the music.. That and I wasn't the drummer on the tape so I wasn't interested in it at all.. The writing seemed to be on the wall as far as me being in the band... There were other times when I thought the end was near but I chose to ignore those feelings and thought I was just over reacting. The graduation party was going to be the restart for the band, a sort of kickstart.. The guys would admit to how much they missed gigging and want to get it going again.. Well that wasn't the case as the practice sessions were becoming a sort of grind and knowing the gig we were preparing for probably didn't help.. It was for me, for my little brother's graduation class party.. So not really an important gig at all.. My feeling was that I was hoping this would make them want to gig again.. I felt that even as a hobby we should have been able to play two gigs a month.. But as the practice sessions dragged on I felt like it was becoming drudgery to get it together.. I was getting tired of that feeling by them, and was a constant feeling like that.. By the time the gig rolled around I was about ready for the end.. But I still held out hope that the gig itself would recharge the want to play again.. We played the show, although an abbreviated show, the set lists were shorter.. By the second break in the show Ernie talked to me about the tempo that the songs were speeding up and slowing down and the number of mistakes were horrible.. I felt like had we been playing gigs regularly that we would not have that problem.. He tore into me and this coupled with the previous practice issues and a few other things that I was tired of spelled the end.. I felt like this is the end.. I couldn't compete with an electronic digital drum machine, I wasn't perfect and never claimed to be.. But he also wanted the old songs that he re-recorded to be done the new way.. Sadly when you play the songs as much as we did they become second nature to play them that way, I could literally play them in my sleep and at some of the gigs I swore I did..
The end happened not with a bang but with a well placed rumor. Well placed in that I told anyone at the after party that I was gone.. This was my last gig as the drummer with Destiny.. It would be a few weeks before I got the call about was this true.. I denied it was true but it actually was.. I would never play with them again. Sadly had they called with the idea of playing gigs plural, I would have said yes, but in February of the next year i got a call to play a gig at the fairgrounds the fallowing August.. I wasn't wanting a single gig, so I told them I would think about it and get back to them.. They are still waiting for my call to this day.. The end happened.. And had they said we're gonna start again that's all it would have taken.. (I'm not sure what was said in that call, I think I just said no then, It's not like me to keep anyone hanging like that and it would have given them enough chance to get someone else to play the drums for a few songs.. That never happened for that gig, because I went hoping to see the new Destiny with a different drummer, but they weren't there..)
I wouldn't see a poster of them playing anywhere although in an article in the paper a few years later Ernie would mention that he had been touring with his backing band Destiny.. I would have loved to tour but it just wasn't looking like anything was going to happen.. Not with me in there anyway..
The 90's weren't good to my taste in music.. In fact from 1990 through now my taste in music is still the same but I find it increasingly hard to find the qualifications to get anything out there.. Truth is that day in the garage when Ernie was practicing Maniac set me into listening to the radio and recording songs I liked and songs I thought we could possibly do.. I opened my ears to anything from that point on. But after I left the band I stopped listening to the radio as closely.. I was thinking that I don't think Destiny would have had much success in the nineties.. Having to conform to grunge wasn't likely to happen.. I wasn't a grunge fan, nor a rap/hip-hop fan either.. I would continue to play the drums and tried out for a band or two but in the end after the last tryout I thought I would rather just go back to Destiny it was the perfect band.. However there were so many issues there that I just decided to hang it up.. I still held up hope to join another band but it had to be on my terms more or less.. And I was willing to do just about anything to do so.. But gradually I started to give up hope. Destiny was supposedly touring during this time period although I found that hard to believe since everyone I talked to hadn't heard of anything like that happening.. I thought there would be backlash from my quitting from those who were fans but there was never anything said to me about why I quit or anything.. I would have told them the reason why I quit was nothing.. We weren't doing anything, so why should I remain in the band.. I think Ernie got tired of the band.. When I was at the house where we practiced I had seen the new logo and the name change to Ernie Ward & Destiny.. I thought if i am a backup musician I should ask to get paid for the rehearsal time.. That name would be changed after I left..
During the final year (88) there was definitely a feeling of changes.. I played my drumset and the added electric pads and then the pads only.. From that October gig until the very final gig was a nice break.. I was wanting the band to get together but didn't know how to get that done and for that matter I wasn't sure I wanted it to get back together.. It's a sad thing to think and even harder to write. I wanted the band to work but was feeling more and more out of place.. I remember being at practices where very little was getting done and thinking why am I here?? As I was saying leaving would take a big event, maybe a threat by one of the members towards my safety or them becoming very reckless in some way.. I didn't exactly know how it would go down and I wasn't thinking that way.. When we got together for the final gig with me as drummer I wasn't thinking this is it.. But after leaving I do remember thinking that I had those feelings.. If that gig didn't stir them to want to gig again then it might very well be over.. I didn't want to push things.. After that graduation gig I just thought I'd let them figure it out, no pushing from me.. I did go out to the building and get the drum stage and anything that was mine out of there.. We would move the band equipment out of there some three days after the gig..
I didn't want to feel like I was the one who would force the band to play, to stick together.. I wanted it but wasn't wanting it.. If we would have stayed together who knows what might have happened.. I felt like the band should be a band and not a solo group thing.. By the time I left there were enough things that happened that I just thought enough was enough.. They could go it without me.. It took a lot for me to decide I was ready to leave.. But from the final gig in '88 until the final gig, I had that much time to think about things, and how everything was through the entirety of the band being together.. The good times and the not so good times..
The end is near: Little did I know they would agree to my wanting to play a freebie gig for my little brothers graduation.. I thought it was just deserving for playing a couple gigs for their friends going into the service.. Hey one of them was Chris.. The other was his brother who joined the service first and then dared Chris to join, it'll be a hoot.. So they agreed to play it and all was going to be fine and dandy.. Well not quite.. The practice sessions were not the best.. By this time the band was done as far as having any true fans. Ernie was recording at his house with a four track demo recorder but he was doing finished recordings.. And in fact had what he was calling a new finished tape for fan consumption.. Only trouble was we weren't playing to have anyone hear the music.. That and I wasn't the drummer on the tape so I wasn't interested in it at all.. The writing seemed to be on the wall as far as me being in the band... There were other times when I thought the end was near but I chose to ignore those feelings and thought I was just over reacting. The graduation party was going to be the restart for the band, a sort of kickstart.. The guys would admit to how much they missed gigging and want to get it going again.. Well that wasn't the case as the practice sessions were becoming a sort of grind and knowing the gig we were preparing for probably didn't help.. It was for me, for my little brother's graduation class party.. So not really an important gig at all.. My feeling was that I was hoping this would make them want to gig again.. I felt that even as a hobby we should have been able to play two gigs a month.. But as the practice sessions dragged on I felt like it was becoming drudgery to get it together.. I was getting tired of that feeling by them, and was a constant feeling like that.. By the time the gig rolled around I was about ready for the end.. But I still held out hope that the gig itself would recharge the want to play again.. We played the show, although an abbreviated show, the set lists were shorter.. By the second break in the show Ernie talked to me about the tempo that the songs were speeding up and slowing down and the number of mistakes were horrible.. I felt like had we been playing gigs regularly that we would not have that problem.. He tore into me and this coupled with the previous practice issues and a few other things that I was tired of spelled the end.. I felt like this is the end.. I couldn't compete with an electronic digital drum machine, I wasn't perfect and never claimed to be.. But he also wanted the old songs that he re-recorded to be done the new way.. Sadly when you play the songs as much as we did they become second nature to play them that way, I could literally play them in my sleep and at some of the gigs I swore I did..
The end happened not with a bang but with a well placed rumor. Well placed in that I told anyone at the after party that I was gone.. This was my last gig as the drummer with Destiny.. It would be a few weeks before I got the call about was this true.. I denied it was true but it actually was.. I would never play with them again. Sadly had they called with the idea of playing gigs plural, I would have said yes, but in February of the next year i got a call to play a gig at the fairgrounds the fallowing August.. I wasn't wanting a single gig, so I told them I would think about it and get back to them.. They are still waiting for my call to this day.. The end happened.. And had they said we're gonna start again that's all it would have taken.. (I'm not sure what was said in that call, I think I just said no then, It's not like me to keep anyone hanging like that and it would have given them enough chance to get someone else to play the drums for a few songs.. That never happened for that gig, because I went hoping to see the new Destiny with a different drummer, but they weren't there..)
I wouldn't see a poster of them playing anywhere although in an article in the paper a few years later Ernie would mention that he had been touring with his backing band Destiny.. I would have loved to tour but it just wasn't looking like anything was going to happen.. Not with me in there anyway..
The 90's weren't good to my taste in music.. In fact from 1990 through now my taste in music is still the same but I find it increasingly hard to find the qualifications to get anything out there.. Truth is that day in the garage when Ernie was practicing Maniac set me into listening to the radio and recording songs I liked and songs I thought we could possibly do.. I opened my ears to anything from that point on. But after I left the band I stopped listening to the radio as closely.. I was thinking that I don't think Destiny would have had much success in the nineties.. Having to conform to grunge wasn't likely to happen.. I wasn't a grunge fan, nor a rap/hip-hop fan either.. I would continue to play the drums and tried out for a band or two but in the end after the last tryout I thought I would rather just go back to Destiny it was the perfect band.. However there were so many issues there that I just decided to hang it up.. I still held up hope to join another band but it had to be on my terms more or less.. And I was willing to do just about anything to do so.. But gradually I started to give up hope. Destiny was supposedly touring during this time period although I found that hard to believe since everyone I talked to hadn't heard of anything like that happening.. I thought there would be backlash from my quitting from those who were fans but there was never anything said to me about why I quit or anything.. I would have told them the reason why I quit was nothing.. We weren't doing anything, so why should I remain in the band.. I think Ernie got tired of the band.. When I was at the house where we practiced I had seen the new logo and the name change to Ernie Ward & Destiny.. I thought if i am a backup musician I should ask to get paid for the rehearsal time.. That name would be changed after I left..
During the final year (88) there was definitely a feeling of changes.. I played my drumset and the added electric pads and then the pads only.. From that October gig until the very final gig was a nice break.. I was wanting the band to get together but didn't know how to get that done and for that matter I wasn't sure I wanted it to get back together.. It's a sad thing to think and even harder to write. I wanted the band to work but was feeling more and more out of place.. I remember being at practices where very little was getting done and thinking why am I here?? As I was saying leaving would take a big event, maybe a threat by one of the members towards my safety or them becoming very reckless in some way.. I didn't exactly know how it would go down and I wasn't thinking that way.. When we got together for the final gig with me as drummer I wasn't thinking this is it.. But after leaving I do remember thinking that I had those feelings.. If that gig didn't stir them to want to gig again then it might very well be over.. I didn't want to push things.. After that graduation gig I just thought I'd let them figure it out, no pushing from me.. I did go out to the building and get the drum stage and anything that was mine out of there.. We would move the band equipment out of there some three days after the gig..
I didn't want to feel like I was the one who would force the band to play, to stick together.. I wanted it but wasn't wanting it.. If we would have stayed together who knows what might have happened.. I felt like the band should be a band and not a solo group thing.. By the time I left there were enough things that happened that I just thought enough was enough.. They could go it without me.. It took a lot for me to decide I was ready to leave.. But from the final gig in '88 until the final gig, I had that much time to think about things, and how everything was through the entirety of the band being together.. The good times and the not so good times..
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