Things change when you get older.. Certainly things do change such as body functions.. As I hit the big 50 (eventually, I mean it hasn't happened yet but I can imagine...) when it does, and I hit that mark hard.. The first thing is the squeak that develops, the squeak that doesn't go away, even with oil, or a grease zirk added to that body part that just doesn't move anymore, or seems to need added emphasis to move.. Such things are strange, none the stranger than back in 2001 when I dislocated my left elbow again, and it grew to the size of a watermelon.. It would go down to the size of a grapefruit and remains that size to this day.. But the thing is, is that I couldn't shave with my left hand anymore.. I can't reach my face with it, or I should say I can reach it, but it locks up.. And that's no fun.. But up until this past May I didn't even try to use my left arm to do any shaving.. And them miracle of miracles, I tried to shave a portion of my face with my left hand and could.. It's that little section under my right ear that never gets shaved with regularity.. Everyone would say "you missed a spot shaving..." and I'd say no shit hu??? I can't reach it... Really, liar... Ok, show me how it's done then... It took a supreme effort to shave that little landing strip there.. But that isn't the biggest thing I have noticed about getting older.. Trust me getting older SUCKS and I tell my nephews and nieces don't get older, stay the same size.. My nephew continues to ignore me as now walking under the freezer door on the fridge without bending over doesn't happen without thunking it..
My coordination seems to be going.. Part two isn't the nicest thing I've noticed but here it is anyway.. About a year ago I started to notice that while doing the "dirty deed" (taking a crap) I went to wipe the area (moon floss) and I've been wiping that particular area the same way for .. Forever, which is to say my right hand.. And then one day, or several days I started to notice.. "I can't reach it..." I shit you not, the old reach around is not working anymore.. So what do you do in this case?? I went lefty on this. And off and on it's left hand wipe because I can't reach my ass with my right hand anymore.. How do you broach the subject with your doctor.. "Hey doc, I got this problem, I can't seem to get a grip on the ability to WIPE MY OWN ASS... At least not with my right hand" "Well you got a left hand don't you?? Give that a go.. That'll be a hundred bucks office call... "... It really does SUCK to get old...
Badge Henry
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